Saturday, September 25, 2010

TheTreatment: Prom Fantasy

A teenage girl named Angelina is sleeping in her bed and the sun's rays shine on her. She wakes up and gets out of bed slowly. It's yet another day that she has to get through.She quickly changes into her school clothes and gets ready for school in the bathroom. She goes downstairs to get some breakfast and tell her foster parents about her soccer game after school. As she grabs a piece of toast and begins to speak to her foster parents, she is interrupted by her three foster sisters, who seek their foster parents' attention as well. The three sisters' voices overlap one another as they try to ask the foster parents about their plans afterschool. One of the sisters wants a ride to the mall and the other two want money to go the the movie theater after school. Annoyance...that is what her foster sisters are. Angelina is apalled by them and begins to yell at her sisters to stop talking and let her continue her conversation with their parents. The chatter stop and Angelina proceeds to tell her parents that she is playing in a soccer game after school and that she would love it if they come. Her parents look at each other and then to her sisters. Then they look at Angelina with a sad look and anwers a flat out no. Angelina's heart drops. It's not the first time her parents have missed a game, it happens everytime. But of course they have the time to take their perfect angels to the mall and the movies. She always comes last in this family. Hmmph.. family... Angelina looks at her family in dissapointment and fury and runs out the front door. She has had it with the world. Angelina continues running for five blocks and slows to a halt. She thinks to herself that she is worthless and unlovable. She has been unloved and neglected by everyone, even her birth parents and foster family. She wipes away her tears in her eyes and continues to walk to school. Not looking at the road, she bumps into her classmate, Nate. Dear Lord, the way his eyes glittered in the sunlight just melted her. He makes a look of concern and asked Angelina if she was ok. She smiled and says that she is fine, as long as he can walk to school with her. But to her dissapointment, he has already promised to drive his girlfriend to school. Angelina glances by his car and his girlfriend in the car glares at her with intensity. Nate's words pelted her heart and after a stunned silence she finds the strength to smile and walk past him. Yet another failure.

The last school bell rings and Angelina walks onto the field for her soccer game. As she tightens her shoelaces, Angelina looks up at the crowd, hoping that her parents changed their minds. She scans the crowd and finds not her parents, but Nate. He waves and gives her two thumbs up. She quickly turn around, wondering if he is refering to his girlfriend who is also on the team. Luckily there is no one behind her and she looks up at Nate and smiles. The whistle blows and the girls start playing the game. To an extented period of time the game goes in Angelina's favor, her team is definitely going to win she believes. Soon enough though, an aggressive girl on the other team approaches the goal where Angelina is standing and kicks the ball towards the goal. The ball hits Angelina's head with full force and she falls backwards onto the grass.

Angelina loses conciousness and enters a dream state, She imagines herself in a ball gown, dancing with Nate on prom night. The music is soft and romantic and Angelina feels the happiest she has ever been. Nate pulls her in closer and gives her a kiss on the cheek. She blushes and smiles at Nate. Their eyes lock and Angelina gets lost in Nates eyes and perfect smile. A teacher goes up on stage and speaks into a microphone that he is about to announce the prom king and queen. He opens the envelope of results and the students only hear drum roll, which transitions into Angelina's heart beating faster and faster. The sound of her heart beat stops and she hears the teacher announce her name. She is completely astonished. She won. Nate's name is announced next and he quickly grabs Angelina's hand and pulls her on stage. Tears fall out of her eyes. She receives a bouqet of roses and presses them to her nose. A tiara is placed on her head to complete her image. She looks to her left, Nate is wearing his crown and smiling at the crowd. Angelina is speechless and blows kisses to her classmates. Nate calls her name multiple times to get her attention. The dream slowly fades and Nate's voice is heard clearly, calling Angelina's name. Angelina, still lying on the grass, opens her eyes. Nate helps her up and walks her to the bench. She asks him what happened and he explained how his girlfriend, or should he say ex girlfriend kicked the ball at her in fury and broke up with him for spending more time talking to Angelina than actually spending time with her. He lets out a sigh but reassures her that there was never anything special between him and his ex girlfriend and that she is a much better person to be around with.

The week following the soccer incident, Angelina opens her PE locker and finds a wrapped box inside. Her eyes light up and she unwraps it with anticipation. Inside the box is a single rose and a note asking her to prom. As Angelina reads the last line of the note, she realizes it was written by Nate. She drops the note and stares at the rose for a moment. She finally picks it up and smells it sweet fragrance. Now she has something worth living for...

5 comments:

  1. Its ok, but it was hard to read. Maybe you should have 2 or 3 lines then skip a line, because its hard to read. I think you put too much detail in there.

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  2. Mm, in a nutshell, the story is too roundabout and long. Instead of talking about the family and the soccer game, perhaps you can just focus on Angelina and her interest in Nate. The dream forms the locus of your entire film, so you should build on the aspects of magical realism to enhance the "dream" quality and perhaps show its influence on her reality. Perhaps the dreams she has has an influence on those around her.

    Nate, in reality, already has a girlfriend, so you have an object of desire and an obstacle. Is Angelina successful in taking Nate away? Or is she given an alternative?

    Specify, and enhance. This is my advice to you.

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  3. You treatment is good, but a little long. It should be short paragraphs. I get what your trying to say but some people might not. It's a good story line, but too much detail to the out where it may drag on for some. Angelina and Nate's romance should be the main focus of the story.

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  4. The treatment looked not at all simple and I found it hard to read because my eyes were going every which way. Maybe chunk certain areas together and seperate others. I don't really "feel" the connection with the styles/themes of Amelie. I think you could use a little more detail to help with people understanding the line/plot of the treatment better.

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  5. I think that you definitely have the romantic part down, but maybe not enough of the comedy or magical realism. I think that if you added more of these elements to your treatment, it might make it more interesting and original. I like that you are going for an epic scene with soccer and everything, but of course that seems a bit too ambitious in this case. If you just simplify the composition and broaden the genre conventions in select ways and show more with less scene changes, this idea has some potential.

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