A pair of children, one boy and one girl, runs intensely through a soccer field. Upbeat pop music plays in the background. The boy dribbles the ball with his feet and his face drips in sweat. His foot kicks the ball (with sound effect) to the girl and the ball flies through the air. She stops it with the side of her foot and proceeds to the soccer goal post. Without a moment's hesitation, she uses all her strength and scores. She yells in excitement and runs to the boy. They high five each other in celebration and drop to the ground in exhaustion. The girl turns her head and smiles at the boy, which in turn causes the boy to meet eye contact with her. The boy is drawn in by her beautiful eyes and a graphic match of her pupils transitions into a wristwatch.
The girl, now 16 years older, rushes out the door as she checks the time on her watch. She puts her suitcase inside her car and gets into the driver's seat. She looks back at her best friend's house, the boy now older. She sighs and grabs her cell phone. Her face shows her torment as she texts her best friend goodbye. Sorry, but this is such a big opportunity that I can't pass up. I hope you understand. Keep in touch, ok?
The boy reads the text and throws his phone on the floor in anger.
The girl turns over her car engine and drives away.
The boy looks at his calendar, which states, "April 19: Carly at airport 2pm". He walks back to his bed, but trips on a overused soccer ball. A flashback of the two of them playing soccer occurs. Snapping back to reality, he checks his alarm clock that indicates a half and hour til 2. He drops the ball and runs out his door, adrenaline pumping.
Sprinting down sidewalks, the sound of his heartbeat is prominent. He manages to get glimpses of the time on oversized clocks on buildings. Attempting to cross the street, he nearly escapes being hit by a speeding car. Returning to his constant running speed, the guy's face reveals his desire to reach the airport before 2pm.
The girl continues to drive on the freeway, approaching closer to the airport by the minute. Images of clocks are shown and the girl speeds up her driving while the guy sprints faster. 20 minutes to go.
Parallel action between the girl and the boy as they both try to reach their destination on time. The boy's face shows concern about being late and not being able to express his true feelings to Carly. He breathes heavily and turns a corner and arrives at the bus stop. He checks the time on his phone. 15 minutes left.
The bus arrives and he runs up the steps. Reaching into his pocket for 2 dollars, he realizes his pockets are empty. Looking at the bus driver in desperation, he gives a sorrowful look. The driver, sympathizes with him and allows him to ride the bus free. (another stroke of luck perhaps)
The girl pushes her car brakes and the tires come to a halt. The doors open quickly and her trunk clicks open immediately.
The bus tires come to a halt a moment later and the boy flies out the door. He turns his head this way and that in search of the girl. He spots her in the midst of the crowd, and calls out her name. She turns her head in slow motion and their eyes meet once again. Staring in deadlock, she is shocked, but smiles gratefully and adoringly.
"I literally ran all the way from home. Call me crazy, but I couldn't let you go without telling you how much I don't want you to leave... We've grown up together and it's going to be so different being apart... I love you, that's why I don't want to to go. But, it's also because of this reason that I want you to live your life beyond this place". - says the boy.
"Is that so? Well, this changes things now doesn't it?..." - says the girl.
I think its a very strong treatment. You have all the elements from the Run Lola Run style chart. Any way I liked how the boy and girl are young when they first begin to like each other, then as they grow they are in love. As for actors I don't think that 16 year old teenagers are going to be in love, so you should have actors that look like young adults. Maybe you should add why the girl is leaving.
ReplyDeleteI really like your treatment. You definitely incorporated time as a strong element for the film. You use time to help develop the characterization of the characters through out the film. The only thing I would have to say is that, the ending seems a little off. I feel like the what the girl says is a little awkward and ends suddenly. I do agree with Jenevieve's comment about making the two characters young adults instead of 16. I would just adjust the ending a little and your treatment/film would be a great idea. Good Job(:
ReplyDeleteThis is really good. It connects to Run Lola Run really well and its very interesting. I felt you could have developed it a bit more because some parts were confusing and complicated the plot. Overall the story was good, but like the two said above I feel the characters should be young adults because i dont feel 16 years olds are going to be in love. The story is good!
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